Tiger Woods Needs a New PR Team

If I were to grade Tiger's PR team based on their most recent project, I would give it a big fat F. Underlined twice. Circled with a red marker. With a note that requires a parent signature.

First, the silence. We are living in an information age where news is constantly pushed through to the public via a variety of traditional and non-traditional channels. By staying silent, you opened the door to speculation and forced the media to dig up their own stories. Annihilate that snowball early and you wouldn't have had to deal with the avalanche of public frenzy.

Second, the sex rehab (euphemized into "therapy"). I'd sooner believe that aliens are living amongst us than Tiger is addicted to sex. Unless that "therapy" session is led by real-life-almost-40-year-old-virgin AC Green titled "How to Manage Temptation," I can't imagine how helpful it would be. Only poor deluded individuals would fall for this scheme.

Lastly, the scripted press conference. Made us wait for nearly three months and that's it? Reality shows at least try to pretend that they aren't scripted! The 15 minute speech followed by the hugs from family and friends is so textbook that PR professors are thanking you for the material for next week's class. The apology lacked any sign of emotion, and therefore, was completely unconvincing.

Next time, schedule the press conference earlier, take some speech/acting classes instead of sex rehab, and bring the wife instead of the mother. Then America will undoubtedly welcome you back with open arms, because the only thing we like more than kicking people when they're down is watching them get back up.