Tiger Woods Needs a New PR Team

If I were to grade Tiger's PR team based on their most recent project, I would give it a big fat F. Underlined twice. Circled with a red marker. With a note that requires a parent signature.

First, the silence. We are living in an information age where news is constantly pushed through to the public via a variety of traditional and non-traditional channels. By staying silent, you opened the door to speculation and forced the media to dig up their own stories. Annihilate that snowball early and you wouldn't have had to deal with the avalanche of public frenzy.

Second, the sex rehab (euphemized into "therapy"). I'd sooner believe that aliens are living amongst us than Tiger is addicted to sex. Unless that "therapy" session is led by real-life-almost-40-year-old-virgin AC Green titled "How to Manage Temptation," I can't imagine how helpful it would be. Only poor deluded individuals would fall for this scheme.

Lastly, the scripted press conference. Made us wait for nearly three months and that's it? Reality shows at least try to pretend that they aren't scripted! The 15 minute speech followed by the hugs from family and friends is so textbook that PR professors are thanking you for the material for next week's class. The apology lacked any sign of emotion, and therefore, was completely unconvincing.

Next time, schedule the press conference earlier, take some speech/acting classes instead of sex rehab, and bring the wife instead of the mother. Then America will undoubtedly welcome you back with open arms, because the only thing we like more than kicking people when they're down is watching them get back up.

Let's Redefine "Romantic"

With Valentine's Day just around the corner, many people are scrambling for last-minute plans and gifts. Images fed through media have brainwashed us with capitalism's idea of "romance." With Yelp invading my inbox today with it's own version of romance in this week's newsletter (chocolate, dim lighting, patio seating, overlooking beach, zzz), I decided to go to the press with a couple of my offbeat ideas of expressing your appreciation for one another.

Traditional gift: Flower Arrangements/Bouquets
Price: $50+
What it says: I'm unoriginal, quite possibly broke after the money I spent, and want to represent our love with a gift that has a fixed life span
Replace with: A potted plant, flower or spice
Price: $2-10
Not only does it live longer than a week, it continually gives a return.
Suggestions:
-peace lily, known to clean indoor air of contaminants ("I care about you.")
-jalapeños ("I'm hot for your lovin'.")

Traditional dinner: Prix Fixe at the City's Hot Spot
Price: $100+
What it says: I may be trendy, but I'm definitely broke after dinner
Replace with: Karaoke night
Price: $40
Rent a private room at the local karaoke bar, order some finger foods and booze (for the inhibited), and serenade each other with songs that remind you of one another.
My suggestions:
-Divinyls, I Touch Myself
-'N Sync, God Must Have Spent A Little More Time On You
-Madonna, Like A Virgin

Obviously, no two couples are alike; what works for some may not work for others. What is certain is that thinking outside the box creates a much more memorable experience. Saving money, which is something we all can appreciate, is just an added bonus.

Hot Watch Alert: Tokyoflash Japan

Admit it. You love being in the know. You dig the fact that you single-handedly possess a secret that no one else knows, and you relish the attention while people beg for you to reveal. Well, have I got the watch for you. Enter: Tokyoflash Japan.

Each Tokyoflash watch design has a unique way of telling time, some simple to figure out, some requiring nothing short of a rocket science degree. However, do not fear; instructions on use come with each purchase. This concept watch Space Face, fresh off their new blog, tells the hour on the top half and the minutes on the bottom.

Although that particular watch is not available for purchase yet, there is a variety of stylish options in the $50-250 range that can satisfy any geek. They accept plastic, ship internationally and have customer service reps that speak English, assuming you know how to call Japan.

I was first introduced to Tokyoflash via Gizmodo.com. Being an uber geek myself, I was quickly enamored by the unconventional design. Unfortunately, the collection is geared more towards men so I did the next best thing and bought a watch (pictured right) for the boyfriend (not pictured right). The watch itself is well-constructed--as if you would ever doubt the Japanese--and the battery is still running two years later. Telling time takes some getting used to since your brain has to be reprogrammed, but it's not like we were born with the ability to read conventional clocks/watches. The bf loves it not only because it's unique and versatile, but because it gives him instant credibility in his JDM-lover circle.